backyard friend 

my lone wolf 

Me and my mom  

It's Friday!!!!!!!!

Yea! I've been waiting for today all week.My babyboy is coming home for the weekend and the weather is suppose to be nice. The creek is running clear and I'm ready to do some floating.My husband took me for a short little ride the other night to condition my butt for a longer ride this weekend . So I'm looking forward to some fun!
It is so beautiful down here this time of year, I am so gratful to be where I'm at and who I'm with. I finally have some peace in my life. And I don't feel like I have to jump and run all the time.I know I'm home. I have a scense of security I have never felt before.
I'm hoping all of you have a good time this weekend, and don't do anything I wouldn't do and if you do tell me all about it.Bye

Changes

Well it finally happened, I went to the Doctor this morning I was having tightness in my chest and tingling down my arms felt kinda dizzy and light headed. Guess what the Doctor said? I'm going through "The change".Great ! What exatly am I going to change into? It was good to know that I wasn't having a heart attack or anything but I just don't know what to think about all this other stuff.They ran some test on me and I'll find out more later.But I can't be getting older I'm too young! I took a test the other day " If you were a cartoon character who would you be " I was Peter Pan.I'm the one still doing cartwheels with my nieces and nephew.I still like eating my dessert first. I still rebel against authority and I like dressing my dog up in little baby cloths. I guess I have some issues to deal with.
Well I'm going to play dressup and make popsicles and do my homework I'll have to think about this more later.

Momma's Boy...

Yesterday I watched my babyboy graduate.He spent the last 4yrs at a catholic boys school. Of course I cried before during and after I'm such a boob.I watched an array of emotions run through my son and my heart went out to him. Bittersweet was the feeling he shared with me.He's finally out of there but it has also been a haven for him and now he's moving on into the unknown. The land of grown ups.And in many ways I want to shelter him from all that. And yet I can't. All I can do is keep loving him and let him know he will always be my baby boy no matter what kind of man he grows ups to be . And he told me I will always be his mommy.He is such a good person and I'm proud to have him in my life . I am sure life has many wonderful surprises in store for him.
Closing thought: Life is a highway and I hope he can read the caution signs.

are you normal

You Are 45% Normal (Somewhat Normal)

While some of your behavior is quite normal... Other things you do are downright strange You've got a little of your freak going on But you mostly keep your weirdness to yourself

How Normal Are You?

Today I have have something on my mind or as the case may be nothing on my mind.I've been reading others blogs and I find myself having to look up words in the dictionary. It's good that I'm doing that but it is also making me feel kinda stupid. I am really realizing how much I missed out on by not getting an education.I dropped out of school when I was 12 or 13 yrs old and I decided I wanted to be a grown up and do my own thing. I hitchhiked across the country and had a blast I always thought I got an education of a different sort, something they didn't teach you in school. I learned a lot about people and life .
At 16 I got pregnant and moved back to Mo. to be closer to my family and had a beautiful boy.And 16 mths later I had pretty little girl (whom I gave up ,that's another story) anyhow, I supported myself and my kids (I had another child a few years later) in many different manners.At the time I thought I was doing the best that I could with what I had .I made good money and lived a wild lifestyle and still raised some wonderful children. All this with not too many regrets or so I told myself.
Now my crazy lifestyle has caught up with me.I know I'm smart I wouldn't have made this far if I wasn't. And I know all my life experiences both good and bad have made me who I am today.A woman with a good sense of humor ,a good friend, mother and wife. Someone to count on when the chips are down and someone who is passionate and kind.But uneducated.
So here I am now , sitting in front of my computer,trying to stumble thru this Real estate course and having a hard time. Math is killing me .I am really having a hard time with it . So what do I do ? I keep avoiding it. Every day I find excuses to not work on my math.I am running out of excuses. So I guess I'm writing this to kick myself in the ass so I'll do something about it.I have made it through a lot worst things than math. I know I can make it through this. I know what I want now and that is to become a better educated person.
Now it's time to stimulate those unused braincells and get them to kick into gear.Thanks for your support.

My Lonewolf

Well I'm finally sitting down long enough to write about something other than the weather. My Lone wolf and how he came into my life.
First alittle background.I am 41yrs old and have been single most my life, my longest relationship lasted 3yrs and that was when I married my youngest son father the marriage it's self only lasted 11mths. That was 18yrs ago.For the most part I loved being single I could do what I wanted when I wanted and didn't answer to anyone. I really liked the new dating thing when people are being really nice to each other and there is no work invovled.It was all about about animal attraction and sex. I had my lonely times but I could always find a distraction (I had lots of distractions).
Anyhow I was living in my own little self invovled world as a bartender in a local pub and a groundskeeper at a quiet little campground .Which filled my needs as introverted extrovert.I could go to work and be the life of the party then go home and be antisocial and not deal with people again till I wanted to. It was perfect.But I always had my family in the background saying " Sam why don't find a good man and settle down. Your not getting any younger." My answer being "Have you seen whats out there in the single world."And I would also explain, when the right one comes along I'll know him. See I'm am still one of those romantics that believes in love at first sight and soulmates and all that mushy stuff.And I also believe when your looking for love it's hard to find so I went along my merry way really going nowhere but content.
Until June 28th 2004 When my lone wolf rode up to the bar and walked into my life.He was tall and lean and spoke in a deep sexy voice.He was also very nice and we talked on and off through the night I noticed he didn't drink to much and carried his self in a confident manner. It was refreshing to meet someone I could talk to. He was telling me about some of his friend that he rode with and I asked him to take me for a ride some time . The next day he left me a text message "Hi sweets just thinking of your sweet smile"and I felt a little flutter in my heart. The next day he called and asked me if I wanted to go for a ride with another couple the following Sun. and watch the fireworks. And so this was to be the beginning of this lovely ride with the love of my life.
He shared with me the stories of his life and I with mine. I even shared some of the not so pretty times which I didn't share with anyone .I didn't want to look bad , But to Allen it didn't matter because the way he looked at me I didn't think I could ever look bad. He told me that he wasn't always a nice guy but he made a decision to become a better person 4 years earlier and it wasn't easy he didn't date went back to school took care of his dying father and changed his life. I knew right away I was in love and so did he.He told me later the first time I got on his bike while we were riding I touched the back of his neck that I touched his soul, that was when he knew .I felt it too. But I really knew when later in the week he took me out to eat and in the middle of dinner he asked for my mothers phone number. He called her up and introduces himself as the man in love with her daughter and thanked her for making me.I was definently a gonner.
So as the story goes we had our first date the 7-4-04 and were married 10-16-04 we sold the house up in Iowa and moved down here to mo. To start our new life together .
He tells me that I am his reward changing his life and becoming a better person. And he is my reward for never giving up my belief that true love comes for those who wait and there is love at first sight and I wasn't a goober for being such a romantic.

Spring is in the air

Spring is definently here.The weather is so erratic,I don't know if I should pack up the sweaters yet or not . I got sunburned Sat. at the mudd run(Big trucks and rednecks yee haw) and had frost on the ground Sunday.I wish she would make up her mind and quit being so fickle.The days are getting warmer anyhow and I should be able to plant my garden next week.I am going to go for now more later!