It's time to put on my big girl panties and deal with it.

That's my new saying I picked up in Galviston. And it is definently appropriate. I'm really having to kick it in gear. I'm studing till my eyes cross.I am aware that there are hurricanes and wars and babies being born.But I can't take time to morn or rejoice. I feel terrilbe about it but... I'm gonna put on my big panties and deal with it.I may not be posting much till I get this stuff done. I feel myself getting smarter by the min.lol. Untill later hug hug kiss kiss.

Tagged by Addict

7 Things I plan to do before I die.
1. Buy a house.
2.Quit smoking .
3. Own my own bussiness.
4.Travel with my husband.
5. Know that my family knows how special they are to me.
6.Own a new car.
7.Forgive myself and others for wrongs done.

7 things I can do.
1. Make people smile.
2. Ride a motorcycle.
3. Read a map.
4.Read a book and watch tv at the same time.
5. Study.
6.Take knots out of most anything.
7.Let people feel loved.

7 things I can't do.
1. Work on a car.
2.Eat peas.
3. Be mean to animals or children.
4. Eat without getting food on my shirt.
5. Watch a Girly Movie without crying.
6.Think about my children and grandbaby without smiling.
7. Live without drugs without the Love of my higher power and support of my husband and family.

7 things that attractme to the opposite sex.
1. A good sence of humor.
2. A nice smile.
3. Someone who will look me in the eyes.
4. Confidence.
5. Big strong arms.
6.A nice butt.
7.Kindness.

7 things I say the most.
1. Ummmm ?
2. Ok.
3. Oooooops!
4.Honey can you ...
5. Honey can I......
6. Come here come here come here.
7. NO no no!!!!

7 celebrity crushes.
1. George Cloony.
2.Elvis.
3.Keffer Southerland.
4.James Bond (all of them)
5.Harrison Ford.
6. Cher.(I always wanted to be her!)
7. Chris Drwartay! (blues singer.)

Ok there you go. That was fun.....

What a trip !

I'm home and boy does it feel good.I had a wonderful trip. But it sure is good to back. I missed my hubby and my doggies. I came home to a clean house that was nice. My hubby was all snuggled up in bed (waiting for his sweetie) and my doggies were very excited to see mom .We left Corpius about 6:30 in the morning and pulled in to the house at 11:00 at night. We drove over 900 miles.We were going to do it in 2 days going back to Galviston and up thru Louisiana, But we got in the car to and I looked at mom and said I just want to go home she said you got the map lets go.Anyhow it's taken 2 days to recoop I don't think I even got out of my jammies yesterday.
It was so wonderful seeing the kids and the baby. I forgot how sweet babies smell and the way they feel in your arms.And the kids are such good parents. They are doing a great job.It hit me when we went out to dinner and my son was holding Christain .I looked over at him and just started crying.I think I was crying for the child I used to have and for the Adult he is becoming they have so much ahead of them .Life seems so uncertain.But I know they an deal with it.I just don't know if I can protect them from all that is in store for them.I think I felt as helpless as the day he was born.Oh well I get so sentimental....
Galviston was cool my mom and I had a good time .I think Mom and I needed the bonding time I learned things about her I never knew . I think that is funny because I thought I knew just agout everything about her.It was really a time to remember.
Now it's time for me to get back into the studying mode I have a lot of reviewing to do to take my test. It's time to move forward.

4 Generations  

Mommy Daddy and Baby 

Christain talking to his Gammy telling her how much he loves her. 

The most perfect baby in the world!!!!!!!!! 

Texas is Great !!!!

I'm still in Tx. And having a blast ! My grandson is the most beautifull baby!! He's just the sweetest thing you ever saw. My cousin Emily was right ! If I know being a grandma was going to be so much fun I would have had grandkids first.
Mom and I had a great time in Galvaston and we are going to go back through there to go home. We are taking a differant route home. So It will be fun.
This is our last night with the kids, we are going to stay in and watch chick flicks and play with the baby !
So I'll close for now. Pictures and details later!!!!!!

Sat .Evening Post

Well It's Sat. night and I'm not even packed yet I'm still getting the housework and homework done. I'm leaving Mon. with my Mom to go see the kids and the grandbaby. I haven't been on a roadtrip for a longtime and I've never been to Tx. So I am very excited.
This will be the first time away from my hubby too. He plans on working a lot of overtime while I'm gone.I still feel like I'm behind on my homework. I'll just have to keep at it There is a lot to do on the computer but I've got a lot to read in my book too . I just hope I have time .
Well my friends I'll probly post again before I leave I'm gonna miss you all too.Catch you later.

HNT Help fight poverty......... 

QUACK QUACK

I'm turning into a duck. It is still raining I love it.Things are turning green again and it's knocking down the pollen.It feels pretty good right now but when the sun comes out it gets really muggy. Oh well that's the price you pay.
Thing are going pretty good , I'm really having to cram for my test right noe I have till the 3rd of next month to finish this course. I feel a little overwhelmed sommetimes. My memory retention is'nt what it used to be. Hell who am I kidding I never had a very good memory . I think that comes from living thru the 60's 70's 80' and 90's.I feel like I have to work really hard to remember my name somer days.So wish me luck!!!!
I want to send out a big hug to my Aunt margie who has supported me in many ways from driving me around till I get my license to the moral supprt she give me everyday. I know things are discouraging at times just try to sit back and count your blessing and know that I love you and appreciate everything you do.This might just be Gods way of saying it's time to sit back and smell the roses.And btw have you smacked your roses lately?Those of you that know my Aunt can ask her about that story.
I hope everyone is having a good hump day and the rest of the week flies by.Peace baby......

Past life

I must have been a used car salesman in a past life, because I have such bad car karma.I am nortorius for having bad luck with cars. For the few months it seems like one vehicale or another breaks down every week. My husband is very frustrated he got his boss to buy 2 used vans from dad and we bought 1 it's been a pain in the ass ever since. I think I'll buy a pony and turn myself into a cowgirl. I always did have a Miss Kitty fantasy.
Anyhow happy mon.everyone !! Watch what you pray for cause you just might get it. I 've been praying for rain. And the other day I said I'd like it to rain for a week. Well it started yesterday and it's not suppose to let up for a couple more days.Hee heee.I know we need it so I'm happy. I just don't want to float away!!!!

Heather where are you???????

Just a note to Heather from Iowa. We miss you. What's up? I know your still reading our blogs so let me know what's up.
People may think it's strange to call someone a friend whom you've never meet. But I think it's just that we never met. I still think of many of my fellow bloggers as friends. There are differant degrees of friendship with a wide range. I hope you understand what I'm saying and I hope to hear from you soon.

TGIF

I am so glad this week is over!!! I'm not use to working everyday.And like I said in a previous post my coworkers have been wearing me out . I've been playing diplomat all week. People can really let the little thing get to them. I know my day will come but it's only a job.At this point in my life I don't let my job run my life . Oh well anyhow I hope I don't get like that.If I start bitchin' about work to much SOMEBODY STOP ME!!!!!!!!!!
I'm still planning my trip we are leaving here Tuesday morning and staying in the Dallas area Tuesday night.then going on to Portland wed just can't wait. I want to hold that grandbaby of mine!!!!And kiss my baby's face.And thank my daughter inlaw for bringing Christian into our lives.
I am really tired but I'm going to leave you all with another poem.I wrote this for my Grandmother. This poem is untitled.

We enter this world so small and frail and helpless.
Totally unaware of what's beyond our limited sight.
Knowing only we're hungry , lonely and scared.
Our lives placed into the hands of someone we hardly know.
But thru the warmth of their touch their love they show.

And so our life's journey begins with all it's twists and turns.
Filled with all our hopes and dreams we wander through this life.
And as we slow towards the end and come around the final bend.
We find that we have returned to were it all began.

We exit this world so small and frail and helpless.
Totally unaware of what's beyond our limited sight.
Knowing only we're hungry lonely and scared.
Our lives placed into the hands of someone we hardly know.
But thru the warmth of their touch their love they show.

I never gave this to my Grandma I don't think I ever will. I don't know why I felt like sharing this tonight but I did.Maybe it's one new life beginning and another old life will soon be ending . Who knows like I said I'm sleepy I think it's time for bed . Nite-nite.

HNT this is my pain in the back..... But it is getting better. 

I'm so excited!!!

I just can't wait , I'm going to TX in 2 weeks to see my kids and my new grandbaby Christain.My mom and I are going for a short visit.I just can't wait. I'm working extra days so I'll have some spending money to blow on the kids and baby.
Mom and I haven't been on a road trip for a while so this ought to be fun. I hope it is anyhow my Mom bless her heart has had to do a lot of roadtrips lately.And they have been really stressful so I planning on making this one as much fun as possible.
I'll tell ya working extra days is something else. I usually only work 2 days a week so now that I'm working more days and I'm getting closer to taking my test the girls at work are coming to me more and more. The problem is they are coming to me with personal problems and problems they have with each other.I'm the happy go lucky one of the bunch and I don't talk bad about anyone so I feel like they want to pull me into "their side" and I just won't go there.I usually end up sharing things that are positive about the other person and try to get them to be a little more compassionate as they get treated with the same compassion when they are wiggin' out.So far so good.Well I better go and get ready for work, see ya!

Me and my Mom, my best friend and road tripper!!!! 

Sunday morning

Ok I've been very lazy about about posting, there has been something bugging me lately.And it's something I haven't wanted to write about . But I believe it is time.
I have been having terrilbe drug dreams , I have always been a dreamer , very vivid real dreams . I can wake myself up but I haven't been able to shake these dreams. In them I see the drugs I'm doing the drugs I'm also doing things to hide them or to get more ect.... I really hate it .I wake up pissed off because the demon I've been fighting for so long invades my peace.I don't like the way it makes me feel.
I wrote this poem back in 95 sitting in jail on my way to prison.Yes it took me all the way there. I went in for 10 months in a (at the time )new drug treatment program. It didn't work but it added to my life experience.

Meth
Meth is my name getting high is my game,
Do you want to play?
Oh you don't know the rules?
Well I will teach you and you will learn well.
Is all you have to do is indulge me a little longer
so I can take away everything that is good
and then one day
as your staring out there with tear stained eyes
you will see my face and know that I am hate
but you won't care
because is all you left
are quick little flashes of life's little clashes
and you !
You poor fool will think it was all fate!

So now you see the demon that haunts me...
Sometimes I'm ashamed that I let sometime take me so far. The stigma that dopers are weak stupid people low class ect.. ect.. is just not true I've seen it take down Docter, Teachers, Grandmother , policeman it has no prejudices. It will take anyone who thinks they want to play.

Ok it's HNT this was my first HNT picture and since I'm still slowly getting around I didn't do a picture this week so.. I thought I'd go back and post this one again. TOEJAMM SANDWICH........ 

I'm kinda back!

Well it's been a long week . I'm feeling much better but I still have a ways to go.Back stuff is not fun.And it's not like I really did anything to hurt it I was just bending over to pick something up.And whammo out she goes. I'm and seeing a really good Doc. (it doesn't hurt that he's really goodlooking either) He is a wholelistic healer and nutritionist he is great!
Anyhow I'm getting ready to go see him today and I'll post more later!!!